Accountant jokes

Why do accountants make good lovers? They're great with figures.

Why did the auditor cross the road? Because he looked in the file and that's what they did last year.

Why did God invent economists?

So accountants could have someone to laugh at.

Who was the first accountant? Adam. He got interested in figures, turned the first leaf, made the first entry, lost interest after withdrawal, buggered up the monthly accounts and raised the first liability.

When do accountants laugh out loud? When somebody asks for a raise

What's the most wicked thing a group of young accountants can do? Go into town and gang-audit someone.

What's the definition of an accountant? Someone who solves a problem you didn't know you had in a way you don't understand.

What's an extroverted accountant? One who looks at your shoes while he's talking to you instead of his own.

What's an actuary? An accountant without the sense of humour.