Baby jokes

Would you rather have a baby brother or a baby sister? I'd much rather have a jelly baby.

Why is a baby like a diamond? Because it's a dear little thing.

Why does a mother carry her baby? The baby can't carry the mother.

Why do we dress baby girls in pink and baby boys in blue? Because they can't dress themselves.

Why did you drop the baby? Well, Mrs Smith said he was a bonny bouncing baby, so I wanted to see if he did.

Why did the vampire baby stop having baby food? He wanted something to get his teeth into.

Why did the baby monster put his father in the freezer? Because he wanted frozen pop.

Why are babies always gurgling with joy? Because it's a nappy time.

Who is bigger - Mrs Bigger or Mrs Bigger's baby? Mrs Bigger's baby, because he's a little Bigger.

Which is the only day you are safe in a cannibal village? Sitterdays (when they eat the baby-sitter instead).

When a baby is learning to eat, shouldn't he have an L-plate?

What would you get if you crossed a new-born snake with a basketball? A bouncing baby boa.

What is a baby: A soft pink thing that makes a lot of noise at one end and has no sense of responsibility at the other.

What is a baby bee? A little humbug.

What does a baby computer call his father? Data.

What do you get if you cross a mountain and a baby ? A cry for Alp !

What do you get if you cross a baby with soldiers ? Infantry !

What do baby pythons play with? Rattle-snakes.

What did the Pharaohs use to keep their babies quiet? Egyptian dummies.

What did the mummy snake say to the crying baby snake? Stop crying and viper your nose.

Jokes